A Date? Like the Fruit?

Aaah! It's a blog blast! And there's money involved.

The Parent Bloggers and E-Harmony Marriage are offering a $100 American Express Gift Card to spend on a dinner date with a spouse/partner and, as if that weren't enough, another $100 to pay a babysitter to bloggers who complete the phrase, "You know you need a date with your husband/partner when..." and explain "how you keep your fires burning or how they went out and why they need rekindling."

Winners will be randomly selected on June 3rd.

I don't usually participate in this sort of stuff because (a) I never feel like I have enough time and (b) it's personal. I rarely talk about my marriage or my husband because I'm private like that. I respect my husband's privacy, and I guard my marriage with my life.

Today, I will participate because I am seriously hard up for a date. Seriously. I will participate because maybe, just maybe, my name will be randomly selected and my husband and I will not feel guilty about spending money and time for ourselves.

I can't tell you the last time my husband and I went on a date.

Oh, we used to go out. Up until about the fourth year we were married, we always seemed to have plans. We explored new restaurants with regularity. We went to plays, movies, concerts. We took off on spontaneous day trips, fantastic adventures that make me smile just thinking about them.

The birth of our first child did not hinder us much at all. She simply came along. She went to museums and art shows, baseball stadiums and malls. Despite her presence - or perhaps, because of her presence - I could appreciate the man I married and feel that love grow.

Our lives drastically changed with the birth of our second child, primarily because we picked up and moved cross country at the same time. Although this was a planned move, much of the details were undefined. We didn't have jobs or a place to live, and my son's health prognosis (at that time) was terribly scary.

But we were buoyed by hope, love, and the support of relatives willing to let us squat in their homes until we got settled. We knew that in the long run this move would be the right choice.

And it was, but at the expense of our marriage. Certainly, we love each other now more than ever. We're committed and together and strong.

But it's been a long, trying six years since our move.

Even now many details are undefined and some things are terribly scary. But we're in it for the long haul and we're still buoyed by hope, love, and the support of relatives.

And we're focused on the same thing: raising happy, confident, kind kids who will make the world a better place.

This has left little (read: no) time for "dates" - quality husband/wife time alone, together, away from home.

We toil from dawn till dusk and, on good nights, collapse into the same bed. "Going out" means, at best, dragging the kids to a somewhat decent restaurant only to suffer through their complaints: I don't like this food. Can we leave now? How many peas do I need to eat to get dessert?

Right this very second my husband is on a bus filled to capacity with chattering seventh graders on his way from Washington D.C. to Connecticut. The bus ride down to D.C. four days ago was marred by engine troubles and spotty air-conditioning. His return trip today was delayed by four hours for similar reasons. Tonight, after ensuring his last student has been safely collected by his/her parent or guardian, he will hope his car starts (it's been acting strangely lately) and make his way home - by midnight if he's lucky.

It's been a long week home without him, and so much longer than that without a date. I miss having dates.

That said...[drum roll please]

You know you need a date with your husband when...

ten years ago this July

you crossed your heart and made a promise. [My wedding song. It's country. I'm a Long Island girl. Deal with it.]

It's time.